Suicide at Age 27: Death due to child abuse

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There is nothing quite as reassuring as the voice of a warm parental figure giving you commands and telling you very precisely what you will need to do in order to secure their approval. As school children it is what we are trained into and become used to, how much more when you are a vulnerable child in care. This is something that child abusers know, how to clothe themselves with a family, friends, a community, with an overall look that says ‘pillar of the community’ or ‘family man’ and doesn’t scream abuser. How to favour children with a warm fatherly or grandfatherly smile, a gentle look, and a pat on the shoulder. As well as in which settings it is possible to draw off the child who has wandered off from parents or family, in order to abuse them.

Men & women who abuse children can be extraordinarily brazen, turning up at the kind of family orientated events that you’d think they would avoid. Of course, if they are part of a close knit community any attempt at ‘befriending’ a child or children will be caught before it even gets started, a firm word or a stern look from a familiar face aware of you and your inclinations, can crush an offence even before it gets started. Funny that, considering the length of time the elite VIP paedophile ring at Westminster Palace, was known about and in operation yet not nipped in the bud.

The point in reporting the abuse is to make it stop, not to wind up in worst circumstances than before, with another abuser replacing the one who’s just been arrested. Then too there are the drugs and the alcohol with which children are frequently plied prior to abuse. This keeps the abusers safe, a drunk or high child may be able to recall the distress of the abuse, and yet not when, where, how or with whom it took place. Shame and guilt for the booze, the drug taking & the sex may overwhelm the victim & in some cases death will do the rest.

mirror0312911Which is why we were all relieved to hear about the Goddard Inquiry, which we have all been told will see to it that the facts about the VIP paedophile ring are known, and that the victims (those who are still alive) get their justice. Because there really is nothing quite as reassuring as the voice of a warm parental figure giving you commands and telling you very precisely what you will need to do in order to secure their approval. How tragic then, when that quiet, aggressively assertive voice, firmly steers you as a child into a course of behaviour that may tail off as you leave childhood, but will come to mark out the next forty years of your life. The victims who are to be made part of the deliberations of the Goddard Inquiry deserve justice, let’s hope they won’t have to wait a decade for it.

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“My first memories as a child are of being raped, repeatedly. This has affected every aspect of my life. This darkness, which is the only way I can describe it, has followed me like a fog, but at times intensified and overwhelmed me, usually triggered by a distinct situation. In kindergarten I couldn’t use the bathroom and would stand petrified whenever I needed to, which started a trend of awkward and unexplained social behavior. The damage that was done to my body still prevents me from using the bathroom normally, but now it’s less of a physical impediment than a daily reminder of what was done to me.”

-Bill Zeller’s Suicide Note

 

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