Rising Damp

4d6f9c7b6You know those tents the UN hands out to refugees fleeing conflict in various corners of the globe? Well, here’s a picture of some of them, this is just in case you have no clear idea of the kind of tent your local council may elect to offer you when you apply for help from the Social  Welfare Assistance Fund. I kid you not, some councils are inclined towards handing out tents in lieu of short term cash payments, that might help lever low paid workers or the destitute out of short term difficulties. And that’s not all, in the last year whilst food bank aid has increased Welfare Assistance provision to the poor, sanctioned and destitute has been only half of that which local councils could have given.

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Are you a hard working single mother trying and failing to manage the rent payments? Have you approached your local council and then found that you don’t fit the eligibility criteria in quite the way you would have under the Social Fund? Well why not do what follow the example of the heroine of the film ‘Dancehall Queen’? Pimp your oldest daughter out to the local racketeering landlord and when the child rebels, pimp yourself out. That way the bills will be paid, the rest of the children will be fed, and what’s more since you didn’t importune your locally elected council for help, they will be ecstatically happy.

If, as a single parent, you have been relocated to an unfamiliar neighbourhood, as a result of the bedroom tax, you may not be able to apply for Welfare Assistance, because of the Habitual Residence Rules. Rules which state that you will need to have been resident in specific neighbourhoods for at least three months before applying for council help. And it gets better, even if you are eligible for Welfare Assistance you may not even be aware that such a fund exists or even how to apply for it since some councils have elected not to publicise its existence.

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Experiencing rising damp? Finding yourself living in a property with dodgy electrics, leaking ceilings, and at the mercy of a landlord because of rent arrears? Well, don’t expect your local council to help you, particularly if its Nottinghamshire or Oxfordshire (they’ve closed their Welfare Assistance Schemes). It might instead be wiser to ‘befriend’ your dodgy landlord and manoeuvre yourself into a situation in which your accomodation is ‘rent free’. Since 2013, only a portion of the money made available for the Social Fund in the past, has been apportioned to councils for the payment of Welfare Assistance. And after 2015, the government has made it clear that there will no longer be any money made available for the provision of Welfare Assistance by local councils. And if you don’t relish the idea of throwing yourself upon the mercy of those who have taken full advantage of the governments latest ‘buy to rent’ scheme, well why not become a ‘grifter’ as so many have.

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